"How can you possibly enjoy hurting someone you love?"

[ciphergoth]

Sparkyrie says...
Re: don't be scared

You mean you were there? I certainly haven't been in any kind of similar situation, so maybe that's why I find it so hard to understand. But - *why* do people enjoy being hurt? What is it about pain that has this incredible effect, and how can pain lead to love and happiness? If someone wants to hurt the people they love physically, does that mean they'd enjoy hurting them emotionally as well? How can you possibly enjoy hurting someone you love?

Face to face, I know how to do this explanation, I've done it many, many times. To the blinking cursor in the "reply" box... I'm at a loss.

gothslut? You write about these things so beautifully, maybe you could explain?

Comments

[damerell.livejournal.com]

Don't ask why I'm back six years (it's not because I'm reading the whole archive).

I often found myself explaining to an ex of mine (who is a filthy perv) why I liked slamdancing, which is sort of the opposite side of the question; she enjoyed pain and endorphins in a sexual context, and found that the most helpful way to understand why I enjoyed them in an asexual context.