"How can you possibly enjoy hurting someone you love?"

[ciphergoth]

Sparkyrie says...
Re: don't be scared

You mean you were there? I certainly haven't been in any kind of similar situation, so maybe that's why I find it so hard to understand. But - *why* do people enjoy being hurt? What is it about pain that has this incredible effect, and how can pain lead to love and happiness? If someone wants to hurt the people they love physically, does that mean they'd enjoy hurting them emotionally as well? How can you possibly enjoy hurting someone you love?

Face to face, I know how to do this explanation, I've done it many, many times. To the blinking cursor in the "reply" box... I'm at a loss.

gothslut? You write about these things so beautifully, maybe you could explain?

Comments

[adjectivemarcus.livejournal.com]

People do, I think, confuse the idea of 'hurting someone you love' with the idea of causing someone you love to experience physical sensations of pain. I'd not want to emotionally hurt any of my friends or lovers, but knowing that there are sensations we can share or create in each other that can be enjoyed is the key.

It is difficult to describe. I don't enjoy pain for the endorphins, I have a low threshold and don't think I've ever had an endorphin rush simply because I don't think a beating I've had has ever taken me that far before my threshold stopped me. When I am beaten it's about the destruction and humiliation of me as a person and the forceible reconstruction of me as a slave, a thing, an object.

Sex is performance. Theatre, if you will. Often a very small audience¹. Just as a play can be improvised, without costumes or props and on a soft romantic theme, so too can it be a horror story with props, costumes, delicious thrills and a sense of danger.

- M xx

¹ though not always. >:o)

[booklectica]

By the way, where is the original thread this was being discussed on? I can't find it...

[djm4]

Here.