Extraordinary evil R us

[ciphergoth]

courtesy of NTK

http://www.coincidencedesign.com/

She is the perfect woman. Stunningly attractive. Walks gracefully. Dresses tastefully. Has a nice laugh. And an even nicer physique. Can make intelligent conversation. Doesn't throw tantrums. Maybe she can even skydive.

WHO IS SHE?

She is your DREAM WIFE.

You've found success; you drive an expensive car, own a mansion, and have money to burn. On top of all this, you're fairly young, you work out, and can make witty remarks. But you haven't found your dream wife yet. The women you date don't live up to your image of the ideal woman.

You've seen her, though. Maybe you've noticed her in a restaurant, or in the lobby of a hotel. Maybe you passed her on the sidewalk a few months ago. Then again, maybe you have yet to catch a glimpse of her.

So what now?

You won't meet her via the classifieds or a dating agency, because her kind don't go there. You can't just walk up to her and utter some silly pick-up line, because she'd rightly despise you if you did. Even if you do have the good fortune to meet her at a wedding or a business meeting, you'll be disappointed to find out that she's already with someone else. It would be useless anyway; guys are hitting on girls like her all the time.

What's left? You aren't some law-breaking psycho. You can't STALK her.

But WE CAN.

We can bug her phone. We can use a clever pretext to interview roommates and classmates from her past and colleagues and girlfriends from her present. We can send an agent to check out her relatives. We can go through her mail and filter her email. We can search her apartment and squeeze information from previous boyfriends. Then,

We'll design a 'COINCIDENCE'.

We can arrange for the two of you to first meet at a convention, and then -- a few weeks later -- end up, coincidentally, seated next to each other on a trans-Atlantic flight. Or find yourselves, coincidentally, trapped in an elevator together.

SHE will start talking to you.

Guaranteed! And when you start chatting, you'll draw on data we fed you beforehand. Say that you hate pumpkins but do like The Smashing Pumpkins, whereupon she'll excitedly exclaim that she feels precisely the same. One thing will lead to another, and...

We don't script love stories made for movies. All we do is provide the initial spark to make it all happen: We design coincidences. Think of it as evening out the distribution of luck in the world.

and later

FAQ

Q.
Tapping phones is illegal. How can you say on your web site that you will bug someone's phones?

A.
Yes, tapping phones is usually illegal, but there is nothing illegal about the statements on this web site. Firstly, we are merely stating that we CAN tap someone's phones. This is not illegal and not untrue, since we do indeed possess the technical ability to tap phones.

Comments

[mhw.livejournal.com]

Yeeuuuurgh!

[babysimon]

You think this is real then?

They only accept bookings in the US, but it's registered to a Japanese web design firm. And "You may not disclose the fact that you hired us to anyone". Hmm. I reckon it's a scam. Imagine you're a client. What do you do if they take your money and fuck off? Thought so.

Must subscribe to NTK at home, web hasn't updated yet.

[alienspacebat.livejournal.com]

Not only is it scary but sexist too. Look at the rules:

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. This includes all females."
- Does this mean they only enjoy following women around? And the reason they claim is "The male-female dynamic doesn't work that way"

Add homophobic too:
"The subject must be female. Gay male subjects are not being considered at this time."
- And they say it is bacause "We do not have sufficient experience or expertise regarding the psychology of homosexual individuals."

I like the threats too:
"Pranksters: Do not waste our time with false applications. We have a system in place to detect and thwart pranksters at an early stage. Moreover, we will crack down on you, hard and out of proportion, because we do not like being messed with. Remember that you are dealing with former police officers and FBI agents. We have the means to track you down, and we will do so if necessary."
- Kind of put me off setting up a fake hotmail like they suggest and seeing if this thing really is a joke


And it's $100,000 down the drain when you go and order Pumpkin soup at the restaurant! Who would want to engineer their life to fit in with a relationship. That's way too false.

[sublevel3.livejournal.com]

I think it's just a joke, but a pretty funny one. I reckon the guys who made the website would be pretty surprised if anyone actually took them up on it.

[emarkienna.livejournal.com]

Interestingly I first heard about this from an independant source an hour or so ago. Also a quick check on Google shows no usenet postings about it before 13 December, yet they claim to have been going since October '99.

Which suggests that either they've actually only appeared recently (which doesn't necessarily mean they're a fake - what with all the other dubiously legal stuff, it wouldn't be surprising to find them lying about how long they've been around), or perhaps it's possibly one of those things where hardly anyone knows about it for ages, and then some ppl start telling friends, who tell their friends and it very quickly sweeps across are large proportion of the Internet.

But either way I still think it's a fake.

[aegidian]

It's a good looking fake, and I suspect possibly something more sinister.

It's could be a con mark filter. Something designed to provide gullible targets for a confidence trick.

There are gullible people and many of them are still rich, despite the adage. If this draws just a few of them into an email exchange with a trickster expert in Social Engineering it will probably have been worth the work.