Medical thingy I want

[ciphergoth]

This post is about mucus.

My nose has been not right since birth, and surgery both then and more recently has not entirely fixed the problem. So I produce a lot of mucus. If I swallow it all, it makes me feel ill, but I'm finding my current ways of getting rid of it unsatisfactory.

The device I want is like a jar with two straws sticking out of the lid. One straw is at right angles so I can put it in my mouth, and the other is connected to a pump which sucks air out of the jar. I put the straw in my mouth, press the button, the pump operates, and the mucus goes into the jar. Ideally, the pump stops operating if the jar gets full. Disgustingly, the jar would need to be poured down the loo from time to time, but I'm short of non-disgusting mucus management strategies.

Does such a thing exist? Would it be hard to make? Is there a better option?

Thanks for reading my mucus musings.

Comments

[thekumquat.livejournal.com]

Snot-suckers are remarkably effective - I've extracted over 5mls from the quatlet before.

They're also small enough to discreetly keep in a pocket, then you could turn and de-snot your nose and clean the thing out later.

Although would only work on the nose - if the gunge is going from sinuses direct to back of the mouth it might not work. But they're only a couple quid from the chemist if you wanted to try.

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Great turn of phrase - "that man is a total snot-sucker!"