The Puppy-Oil Cannon

[ciphergoth]

from kalischild via jwz

The Puppy-Oil Cannon
by John Hawkins

In the Gulf War and Afghanistan, the US military spent an inordinate amount of money and effort dislodging enemy soldiers who took cover in caves and bunkers. Today the Pentagon unveiled a new siege breaking weapon designed to solve that problem; the 'Puppy-Oil Cannon'. In response to a reporter's question, General Tommy Franks explained how the 'Puppy-Oil Cannon' works.

"Basically we dump bags of puppies we get from pounds across the US into a large vat of oil. They're then sucked into a giant cannon that fires them at the enemy. Soon thereafter the oil starts to dry and become sticky and so what you end up with is a group of enemy soldiers covered with dead puppies."

complete story

(Update for unrelated footnote: cool that a picture of me can generate so many comments!)

Comments

[ex-pipistre.livejournal.com]

:(
i hope that isn't true.

[purplerabbits.livejournal.com]

Wakey wakey! Here, have a cup of coffee, it sounds like you need it :-)

[ex-pipistre.livejournal.com]

just putting on the kettle..i knew the us army was good at designing uniquely cruel and pointless weapons, but i didn't know they were that good. bleh, even reading that made me feel sick.

[gnomatron.livejournal.com]

that url:

http://rightwingnews.com/humor/puppybomb.php

You really need that coffee, or that's truly deadpan irony. :)

The US army only tend to engage in unnecessary cruelty against humans, like shooting/bombing people who are basically defenceless.

[ex-pipistre.livejournal.com]

the second comment was ironic, albeit badly worded, because i am bloody ill.
and the us army have done some dodgy thing with animals in the past, such as bat bombs, which were apparently bats carrying bombs designed to go and blow up the enemy, except they went back and roosted on the army buildings.

[gnomatron.livejournal.com]

poor lass. I had mentally attributed to tiredness or somesuch. hope you feel better soon.

bat bombs? wow. Reminds me of pavlov's dogs; the ones trained by the russian army to run under tanks with a bomb on their back. (I'm pretty sure pavlov was involved, but not certain). Most of them got machine-gunned after the germans figured the trick out, and a lot of them ended up destroying russian tanks, as they'd been taught with russian ones, and not german.

And let's not foget the poor ickle dolphins the US navy supposedly keeps fucking about with for mine detection and planting mines on boats and things.

[jhg.livejournal.com]

Cool! I want one, to fire at people who play Enya very very very loudly at 1 o'clock in the morning.


J

[ex-suum-cuiq980.livejournal.com]

I have FRIENDS!!!! 6 whole friends!!!! I finally got round to adding them!