What would Xenu do?

[ciphergoth]

A marvellous Slashdot comment on the problems with a "What would Xenu do?" philosophy of life:

The problem with "WWXD?" is that it's just not a terribly useful guiding philosophy. For instance, imagine you're in a situation where you're having trouble getting along with your coworkers, and so you ask yourself, "WWXD?" The answer is that Xenu would round up his coworkers, put them on some starships shaped like DC-8 airliners, ship them to the distant reaches of the galaxy, and then nuke them into oblivion. So, as you can see, "WWXD?" has two major problems:

First, the solution is *always* to put people on spaceships shaped like 1950s-era jet airliners and then nuke them, because that's all we know about Xenu. "WWXD?" dictates that you put people on DC-8 shaped spaceships and then nuke them in any situation, whether it's marital problems, dealing with the poor, or feeling frustrated that you dropped your grilled cheese sandwich: just round up a bunch of people, put them on airplane-shaped spaceships, and then drop a bunch of H-bombs on them. It's just not very flexible as a philosophy.

The second issue with the "WWXD?" philosophy is more practical. Xenu was an evil galactic overlord. As a galactic overlord, he had lots of resources, in particular, lots of minions and henchmen to round people up and put them on spaceships, and lots of spaceships shaped like DC-8s, and lots of thermonuclear bombs. Unless you have access to similar resources, "WWXD?" is just not practical to apply to your everyday life. Although I admit, when I think of how to deal with Scientologists, and then ask "WWXD?", I have to admit that the philosophy does have some appeal.

--flyingsquid

Comments

[some-fox.livejournal.com]

Marvellous *giggles*

[webcowgirl.livejournal.com]

How about "What would XKCD do?"

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

"Xenu was an evil galactic overlord. As a galactic overlord, he had lots of resources, in particular, lots of minions and henchmen to round people up and put them on spaceships, and lots of spaceships shaped like DC-8s, and lots of thermonuclear bombs. Unless you have access to similar resources, "WWXD?" is just not practical to apply to your everyday life."

And that's the tragedy! No spaceships and henchmen? Life SUCKS!

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Echoes of Kenny Everett really. "Round 'em up, put 'em in a volcano, and BOMB THE BASTARDS!"

[robot-mel.livejournal.com]

I saw we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

Kenny >>> Xenu

Note the similarities...

In Mayan, they would be THE SAME NAME!!! *gasp* (Or something...)

[reddragdiva]

eBay's really going out of its way to make friends with people lately, isn't it.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

You mean... They're pulling the ads for H-Bombs? That's religious descrimination.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

I find that 'What would Satan do?' is more than adequate for everyday decisions.

Even when I don't have a trident to hand to get the bubbly end of the hot tub to myself.