I'm not sure what you mean with "our community", but I have to agree that I find the described stories all very "American", especially with the dating part.
All in all I had three serious relationships and at two of those I can only say I was the one to initiate the first contact - BUT it was never with a sexual intention. The first contact was followed by a loose friendship and at some point resulted into some sort of sexual activity, which usually was not verbally discussed before. The third relationship was also a close friendship first, but we were introduced to each other, so I can't say I made the first move, nor did he.
All in all I have to admit I love the idea of being courted (if you can call it that), but at the same time I remember being very cautios when I was approached by a man and usually I did not respond well to being asked out by someone (male) I barely knew. This all is probably a result of abuse at early age, I'm not sure.
With women I'm way more direct and tend to make the first move to show (sexual) interest. Interestingly, I once was also "asked out" by a woman I barely knew and was nearly as freaked out as when men seemed to "want more".
Basically I'm only able to have/interested in romantic/sexual relationships with people I consider friends first.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-10-06 09:11 am (UTC)All in all I had three serious relationships and at two of those I can only say I was the one to initiate the first contact - BUT it was never with a sexual intention. The first contact was followed by a loose friendship and at some point resulted into some sort of sexual activity, which usually was not verbally discussed before.
The third relationship was also a close friendship first, but we were introduced to each other, so I can't say I made the first move, nor did he.
All in all I have to admit I love the idea of being courted (if you can call it that), but at the same time I remember being very cautios when I was approached by a man and usually I did not respond well to being asked out by someone (male) I barely knew. This all is probably a result of abuse at early age, I'm not sure.
With women I'm way more direct and tend to make the first move to show (sexual) interest. Interestingly, I once was also "asked out" by a woman I barely knew and was nearly as freaked out as when men seemed to "want more".
Basically I'm only able to have/interested in romantic/sexual relationships with people I consider friends first.