Hamlet fish

I think I may have to keep room in my bag for a special Hamlet Fish. A nice, big, hefty fish, specifically carried so that anyone who says either "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" or "The lady protests too much, methinks." can get a good wet slap around the face.

Inspired by reading George Monbiot's excellent article on 9/11 conspiracy theorists and seeing the start of the first comment.