Programme on SM, ITV, 11pm

11.00-11.30pm, ITV London: Pleasure Seekers. People who enjoy sado-masochism talk about their passion including a couple who road-test a new whip.

We (ergotia and I) reckon we'll see:

• A mid-thirties transvestite who looks like a glamorous secretary, and is a web designer
• A well-preserved hard-faced mid-forties blonde called Margaret living in the suburbs with Master Doug (who is an in-house accountant in a firm that makes lawnmowers, and is really ugly), wearing hideous leathers
• Detailed coverage of a fetish that no-one we know does
• Someone who runs a sex shop showing you their crap handcuffs in a very annoying voice
• Voiceover by a crap psychologist
• A professional dominatrix
• A tame, lame stage show, possibly featuring some very half-hearted girl-on-girl action
• No really good-looking people who are not in the sex industry
• No queers, apart from maybe some women who swing
• No switches
• No-one really smiling and expressing a sense of joy.

And I would really love to be wrong about this sort of thing!