Can't sleep

I keep going over things in my head, imagined conversations, accusations, justifications, apologies and explanations. I might lose a lot of friends I value, and while I want to blame others, I have to take some of the blame myself. Serious issues of concern to the whole community could get clouded because of issues that only concern a few individuals; meanwhile, none of those individuals get a good time out of it, and a whole lot of good people are made unhappy; parties not involved get caught in the crossfire. General badness, for which I have to take partial responsibility.

Yes, I know I'm being cryptic, which is exactly what I was beseeching other people not to do. I'm too tired to work out whether I'm wrong to post this now or whether my feeling that people shouldn't be cryptic was just way off base or what, but I promise to think about it.

In other news, ergotia sent me the most fabulous, wonderful text message today. Thank-you. I love you.

update 3:05am: At least I partially worked out the state of my finances.

Answers to the reverse survey

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=ciphergoth&itemid=88437

Factual questions:

1. What's my name? Paul Crowley
2. What's my middle name? Dermot
3. Do I smoke? No
4. Do I believe in God? No
5. How old am I? 30
6. How tall am I? 5'6" (I had to measure myself)
7. What color is my hair? Black!
8. What color are my eyes? greyish-blue
9. Do I have any siblings? Two younger sisters, a younger brother and an older brother
10. Are my parents still together? They divorced when I was 8ish I think; my Dad died about five years ago.
11. Who do I define as partners? purplerabbits, ergotia, lilithmagna, coracaskia
12. Have I ever had a broken heart? Yes.
13. How many people have I slept with? 61: 23 men, 38 women

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