Why nerds are unpopular

[ciphergoth]

I didn't do much LJing at all yesterday, in an effort to get some work done. I shall do another Satanbucks trip later and fight with making this code compile, but in the meantime, here's a fascinating essay (very long and somewhat US centric in places) about the horror of schools :

Why Nerds are Unpopular - Paul Graham

Adults can't avoid seeing that teenage kids are tormented. So why don't they do something about it? Because they blame it on puberty. The reason kids are so unhappy, adults tell themselves, is that monstrous new chemicals, hormones, are now coursing through their bloodstream and messing up everything. [...]

I'm suspicious of this theory that thirteen year old kids are intrinsically messed up. If it's physiological, it should be universal. Are Mongol nomads all nihilists at thirteen?

Doubtless I'll update this LJ with more links later, as I am wont to do...

UULP 1: and here's the first: Jay Wiseman's Ten Tips for the Novice, Single,
Heterosexual, Submissive Woman
UULP 2: Hand-typed transcript of the Marie Claire article on polyamory (and discussion in londonpolybis

UULP 3:
February 25 at 8:00PM at Filmhouse Cafe-Bar, 88 Lothian Road, Edinburgh

Comments

[winterthing.livejournal.com]

That was an interesting article, although I'm not sure I'd agree with it in all places, especially on the smart/nerd correlation. I think it is accurate to say that a lot of very smart kids are nerds, but from my memory of school (and from my experiences of working in schools) I think it is inaccurate to say that all nerds are smart.

I knew some amazingly _stupid_ people who were also socially inept and unpopular. I also knew some pretty bright kids who had pretty happy social lives. Social skills aren't just linked to IQ as far as I can see.

I'm also pondering the writers issues with suburbia. I can see where he's coming from, but from what I can tell being a teenager in a big and cosmopolitan place really also doesn't negate 'high school syndrome'. To a certain extent it does ease some of the pressures - it gives kids an alternative place to base one's social life - but it equally can simply replace one set of pressures with another. From my memories of a group of friends of mine who all attended a very posh London private school being at school and living in London largely seemed to just make school more socially competitive - you were held to a higher standard as a popular kid. Things like clothes, music etc - all the things that were available in the capital - became ways to judge people. In my school in a small country town you really were limited in being able to judge people by their clothes, as we all really had access to the same 5 clothes shops, and so we all ended up dressed in roughly the same kind of thing. In London you were expected to have the 'right' clothes and go to the 'right' places to a far greater extent.

I'm not sure if perhaps part of the problem of high school is more that it is the only place in the world, and the only time in your life, where a group of people with absolutely nothing in common but their geographical location have to spend a lot of time together. I know I haven't been put in that kind of random social situation since high school and I'm not sure I would chose to put myself through that again.

[evil-girlie666.livejournal.com]

re: the BDSM tips for Sub girls.... isn't a whole lot of this just very plain common sense? Or maybe I'm just a lot more sensible/self-respecting than a lot of other girls entering this arena.... personally speaking, I vet very carefully, in fact *so* carefully I haven't trusted anyone intimately enough to enter a BDSM kind of relationship where I am strongly sub for a number of years. That's a shame, but in such things better safe than sorry.....

E.

[ex-suum-cuiq980.livejournal.com]

I like Tip Nine best :)

[ishkhara.livejournal.com]

I'm working till 8.30pm on the night of the next LJ meetup but I'll try and make it afterwards.