BDSM checklists?

[ciphergoth]

I've made some modifications to the standard Tammad Rimilia BDSM checklist and made my version available here:

http://www.ciphergoth.org/writing/bdsm-checklist.txt

Checklists like this can be a useful tool in negotiation, and spur you on to doing new and interesting things. A list a little like this was certainly a good thing when I started playing with ergotia and lilithmagna, and it was particularly fun when we happened across the list a couple of years later and found we'd done most of the things I was attracted to :-)

What do you think of lists like this? What do you think of this variant? Is it comprehensible, would it be useful, can it be improved? As a bottom or a top, how would you raise the idea of using such a list? And does anyone know what "Strapping" is?

Comments

[needler.livejournal.com]

This is actually a very good concise and interesting list,some stuff to inspire that havent been contemplated too,Im quite impressed!
hugs

[bootpunk.livejournal.com]

Strapping: in the context, esp. with the "full body beating" in parenthesis, I would imagine that it would be a derivative of "getting the strap" at school - ie flogging with a leather belt or strap. Altho' I could be a mile wide of the mark, as its not a term that I'm familiar with in BDSM play - just the school-days one.

I think checklists are an extremely good thing in play, tho' for interests of brievity (and for us "try out new possibilties" ppl) I'd say squick lists are the most valuable ones. That list is fairly comprehensive, tho' there is no trampling there. I'm sure there is *always* something that could be added tho' - "write-in" should definitely be encouraged with these kindds of lists.. I'd raise the idea of using a list if I was playing with someone I didn't know very well - tho' I do remember that when I saw a copy of Soph's squick list there were a few things I might not have guessed, despite thinking I knew her playing likes/dislike moderately well.

[lizw.livejournal.com]

I've just filled in a checklist to show conflux and simondraycott. I think it will be particularly useful for conflux, who wants more input from me than I can usually articulate in mid-scene ;-)

I don't have time to look at this one in detail, I'm afraid, but "Strapping (full body beating)" means systematically beating all safe areas of the body. I don't think the implement has to be a strap, but I can see why it would be a popular choice - it gives more control than many others.

"strapping"

[belladonna-9.livejournal.com]

I think is an equine term..well at least the one I know is...and it is a form of horse massage and grooming....if you can imagine massaging a horse requires quite a lot of strength and pounding..(only done in the heavily muscled areas)...using a leather pad the horses neck..shoulders and hind quaters are pounded using a circular motion and a lot of strength...I think this is possibly where it comes from....

[booklectica]

I think it's an excellent idea in principle that probably wouldn't work for me. I need things to be a little vague and a little unpredictable in order to feel turned on. (Marcus is good for that!)

I'd probably prefer to print out the list and have a face-to-face discussion with my partner about it; that would feel a little more fluid and a little less... I don't know. Organised?

[ergotia.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I just noticed my first comment is rather vague re your speficic questions. I dont know what "strapping" is and I cant actually think of any improvements to that layout, but as a top I would simply present the sub with the list in a brisk professional manner and leave them alone for a stated length of time to fill it in. If that squicked them to the point of running away it probably would not have worked anyway! If I was really concerned that they might run away I would probably casually mention (by phone, email whatever) that I liked subs to fill out a form before we played and pay careful attention to their reaction.

xxxxxxx

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

what's 'Gates of Hell'? or do I not want to know?

[ruis.livejournal.com]

The list as you've set it out would be easy to fill in. Strapping is usually a 'full body' beating with something flexible.

Personally I don't find checklists to be useful for initial negociation. I don't know what most of my limits will be with a specific person until I have played with them a few times.

I find it more useful to discuss styles of play and to explain why I have certain hard limits.

[lovelybug.livejournal.com]

My god! It's huge! I think good idea - I'd imagine it helps the top plan a bit, and I think i'd find just filling it in a turn on :) The format is a bit intense, but if it were for a long term thing I can definately see the usefullness. My flat mate mentioned she couldn't see blood fetishism on there - did we just miss it? But that's splitting hairs a bit - it's obviously a very comprehensive list. And, as you found ciphergoth, I think it would be interesting to look back on. As for raising it for the first time, I'd reckon it would be better to have a slightly simpler list the first time, with broader categories and just 'like' 'dislike' and 'experienced before', and maybe produce that monster after a couple of sessions!

[please-sir.livejournal.com]

When I first saw a list like this I thought it was a good idea but then I never actually got round to using one. I find that just talking to someone is the best way to find out what they're into. I thought it was wierd that the attraction and repulsion were listed seperately, I would have done a scale of 1 to 10 with 5 being neutral.. on the other hand it gives one the option to express mixed feelings by giving a score for both. I wonder something similar coule be acomplished by having a 1-10 score and a seperate score for "fear" or "reservations".

[lovingboth]

The first time I saw one of these, I thought 'Scarification' meant 'making the bottom frightened'...