I'm not sure that monogamy doesn't get a bit of a bad press sometimes, because of the other restrictions that seem to be applied at the same time as it. Being married with 2.4 kids I get to meet lots of similarly married women and I'm horrified at how infrequently they go out. Recently went for a curry with six other women at 7pm in the evening, and they were all hurrying to be home before midnight so as to avoid getting a row from their husbands. Not only that but it turned out that some of them hadn't gone out in the evening without their spouses for THREE YEARS!
Monogamy is a restriction, but in my case it's one I chose freely. I can't claim that I've never looked at another guy in the ten years I've been married, because there are nice people everywhere and I've had many offers that I almost certainly would have taken up if I'd been single, but being close to people as friends is also rewarding, and sometimes the fact that I'm out of the loop as far as availability goes does have it's advantages - I'm neutral in my involvement with other people's relationships, and sometimes that makes it easier to offer help or support when things get complicated. Also, I'm a safe option - inviting me out for a drink doesn't have the same overtones that inviting a single woman out would, so guys can relax in my company and not worry about trying to impress me, or how things are going to turn out at the end of the evening.
The alternative to monogamy always struck me as quite hard work - all the juggling of relationships and priorities that is required to stop the whole situation getting out of control... A great adreniline buzz, I'm sure. Maybe I'm just too old for it...
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Is it monogamy?
Date: 2002-06-04 02:24 pm (UTC)Being married with 2.4 kids I get to meet lots of similarly married women and I'm horrified at how infrequently they go out. Recently went for a curry with six other women at 7pm in the evening, and they were all hurrying to be home before midnight so as to avoid getting a row from their husbands. Not only that but it turned out that some of them hadn't gone out in the evening without their spouses for THREE YEARS!
Monogamy is a restriction, but in my case it's one I chose freely. I can't claim that I've never looked at another guy in the ten years I've been married, because there are nice people everywhere and I've had many offers that I almost certainly would have taken up if I'd been single, but being close to people as friends is also rewarding, and sometimes the fact that I'm out of the loop as far as availability goes does have it's advantages - I'm neutral in my involvement with other people's relationships, and sometimes that makes it easier to offer help or support when things get complicated.
Also, I'm a safe option - inviting me out for a drink doesn't have the same overtones that inviting a single woman out would, so guys can relax in my company and not worry about trying to impress me, or how things are going to turn out at the end of the evening.
The alternative to monogamy always struck me as quite hard work - all the juggling of relationships and priorities that is required to stop the whole situation getting out of control...
A great adreniline buzz, I'm sure. Maybe I'm just too old for it...