ciphergoth | Amsterdam fetish nights

We hadn't planned on it when we left, but we ended up going to an Amsterdam fetish night called "The Clinic", and I am so glad we did!

I didn't know it was happening, and neither myself nor

purplerabbits brought a single piece of equipment or a stitch to wear, but we asked in the shop selling the tickets (Absolute Danny) what we'd get away with, and took their advice. I found a bondagey top in "Diabolo" that was reduced to EUR 20 (about GBP 13) which I just wore with combats while I did my hair in bunches, and

purplerabbits found a rather lovely purple ribbon corset in Demask that was surprisingly reasonably priced (reasonable for the Fetish Fair or the Whitby Bizarre Bazaar - amazing for Demask), so we managed to get costumes together at the last minute. There was a nervous moment approaching the door after the taxi, but it was no problem at all, and in fact we were in some ways dressier than a lot of the guys who were just wearing leather trousers.

My impression is that in most ways it kicks the shit out of any other fetish club I've ever been to. There was much more nudity and much more sex of course, which was in many cases breathtakingly lovely, but the really impressive thing was that it was amazingly friendly. It happened about five or six times that a group of people we didn't know would introduce themselves and start chatting, ask where we were from and what else we'd been to.

We smoked drugs and wandered around checking out the eye candy and watching people play. We also played ourselves, details of which will have to wait for another entry with different permissions...

I felt less confident than I would have liked since I didn't really feel dressed up, and mainly I feel I *really* want to go again, with a good costume and lots of toys. Even though most of the people I spoke to weren't as experienced as me in many ways, I still felt like such a novice there - it felt like I'd never been to a real fetish club before, and tha what we have in the UK is a sort of pretend club that wants to be an Amsterdam fetish club when it grows up.

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Hi there sorry if you don't know me. I read this from [Bad username or site: >sbisson (i'm an ex and very good friend of his partner <lj user=marypcb @ livejournal.com] and In fact I think I coined their domain name for them ;)

Anyway... I never bothered much with the UK fetish scene. Sum it up in one word? Humourless. Despite all its fetishisim, it seemed so.. so... unimaginative and straight, with straight men largely dominating the vibe. Having attended many of Carol Queen's Queen of Heaven parties in San Francisco where there is a large contingent of Queer fowk plus the same vibe at a few of the fetish clubs in Seattle (which also admitted Goths because at last the Bar could be put to some money-making use and the Goths additionally had something to ignore) I thought the UK scene was very reserved, cliquey and a place to pose rathe than to actually get down and dirty. After a few disappointing British clubs I thought the British scene was very quaint and very play-acting compared to some of the ones downtown San Francisco (and a lot less fun than even the gay meat markets off of 3rd and Market (Stockon, Folsom Street) and the Castro).

When I bought some Pony Boy and Pony Girl training stuff to a UK club four years ago it went way too over their heads. They were not sure if it was BDSM, Bestiality, Fetish or 'Just Plain Weird'; Okay so for a bit of a laff we did a gender bending scene where one girl was a randy stallion (complete with anatomically correct strap-on appendage) and I was "his" naughty stable-girl and people felt it was just too weird. Weird it may be, but in San Fran and Seattle they not only coped, they were laughing and encouraging (nicely) as well... it was a crossover of species, exhibitionism, fetish and just plain fun -- and they applauded after a scene -- something that I have never seen in the UK.

Then there was an incident with a digeridu... but best not go there...

Yey! Dancing Fox is here!

And yep. The most recent Queeruption was fabulous because of the mix of people there - no posing, but a profound sense of fun. Somewhere, I have a unfinished piece on it. Ah, another for the 'hunt the...' list.

What I always liked about Amsterdam, particularly during the long 1980s, was that while it was (is) not perfect, it was (is) a perfect example to Brits that it Didn't (Doesn't) Have To Be Like That in the UK.

Goodness me [wipes tear from eyes] somebody [b]remembers[/b] me... :)
(I-think-i-need-a-lie-down-now)

OK, I speak from very limited personal experience, and I'm mostly vanilla, but I think the problem with the UK fetish scene may be that it's just not allowed to have sex in the club. You may not get busted, but there is a risk that you will, and it chills things. Clubs where I have been were, well, a bit technical. People tied each other up, flogged them, and then it went like "How was that darling?", "Wonderful, thank you", "My pleasure". And the bottom would get up and pull their clothes together. Nobody sucked/penetrated them after giving them a good flogging, and as I would bloody well like to happen if I had been involved, and I don't think that too many bottoms got to come.

I paraphrase from memory some American sex activist (may be Pat Califia or Susie Bright) who wrote some rant along the lines of "And remember, the point of all this is to come! We do it to get off more strongly, not to demonstrate skill or endurance, or something. For most people this involves regular sex as well as SM play". But in the UK you are not generally allowed to have sex (by the mainstream definition) in a public event, and so it all seems to me, the mostly vanilla person, a bit pointless. By contrast, even relatively mainstream gay clubs in Amsterdam were quite open to people being naked or having sex.

Pavlos

It's not just vanilla sex that can get you in a lot of trouble in the UK, as Spanner proved. I have done things in NYC fetish nights that would have blown way over the Spanner limits ie cutting scenes, which are illegal in private as well as in public.

I'm surprised you got that reaction at a UK fetish club, I thought pony play was quite well represented. The only way I've managed to cause confusion at such clubs is by being a switch - people at clubs seem to expect you to be either a top or a bottom, despite the fact that most SMmers I know are switches...

Ian says you're AKA "Dancing Fox" - am I right in thinking that I first met you at BiCon 10 in Norwich in 1992?

Unfortunately with the Pony Play peeps they get a bit snitty if you don't wat to be in their club and they do tend to have their own places to hang around in... Then again it may have been the switch thing which confused them a bit...

Didn't know if people on the Bi Scene would remember me. Yeah I am one and the same (www.dancingfox.com may give the game away) -- one and the same xx. Still as Bi (in fact more so) still as Pagan and with shaved head/bits and additional tattoos Lived in San Francisco for a bit (still a big part of me is there -- specificlly at fish.com) and I've lived in the shadows of some great info security people. Now living is rural bliss in the scottish borders... with stables [wicked grin].

x

Tanais Fox

ooh! i want to go to amsterdam now, sos i can wear my big nyoo boots to a fetish night!

I don't know where y'all have been playing in the UK, but my experience varies. I know of two (UK) clubs which are held in what are usually swingers clubs and there is certainly plenty of sex happening there ... no drugs, though. Which doesn't bother me personally, in that I prefer to be sober and know what I am getting into when I play. And I definitely prefer my Dom/me to be sober and know what s/he is doing! I've found the scene to be as friendly as I want it to be - it does help to get to know people at munches first, but once the ice is broken, people are friendly without being intrusive, if you know what I mean. If there IS a lack of sexual expression in UK venues I wonder if it is the famous British reserve in action? I do know of people who go to clubs but only to socialise and would never think of actually playing in public. Weird, I guess, but aren't we all?

I'll be interested to see what you think of Club L'Amour on Saturday, as it sounds quite similar - are you still coming to that?

Yes, I'll be there! It'll be interesting to see...

One big difference is that I'm told Club L'Amour only has about a hundred people in attendance if that, whereas this club must have had well over a thousand.

Damn you! Take me next time!!!!!

:o)

C.

Amsterdam fetish nights

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Anti-sex laws may be the problem

Re: Anti-sex laws may be the problem

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Pony Play

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