ciphergoth | Inventors create condom which can be fitted in three seconds

Inventors create condom which can be fitted in three seconds

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_662965.html

Thirty to forty seconds seems like a big exaggeration to me. If the packet is to hand and you don't fumble tearing it, ten seconds seems closer to the mark.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'd say less than 30-40 seconds unless you include untaggling yourself from the duvet, finding it, turning the light on etc, which I doubt they've solved. Also I find it hard to imagine an 'applicator' - unless it's some kind of spring loaded device, which could be a tad dodgy...

Clearly you need a dispenser. With a big luminous arrow so you can find it if you're the sort of person who has sex in the pitch darkness.

The dispenser should open the packet for you too...

Hmmm, yes, and you slip your cock into it... or are we back to Femidoms..?

If we were living in a more sane society A. It wouldn't be needed for the reasons it is, and B. There would be a picture or video of the invention in action.

Pavlos

I see your condom and raise you a bra:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_618405.html

'the man is no longer the conquering male'? ;-)

Cool - by the same idea, i need to go and find a super-extra complicated bra. Well, i could. The effect seems to happen whether i'm wearing one or not :)

Yep, it's all there in my least favorite pop-psychology book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - apparently if a certain subset of men discover that a woman can do something they can't - even if it is something they would reasonably expect to have had less practice at than women, such as, for example, bra opening - then it completely destroys their delicate little egos.
For some unfathomable reason the book does not recommend yelling "Get a life!" at them.

Oh that book was a hoot!
Well, it would be if it wasn't for the sad fact that so many women and men actually believed in this crap. When it came out, I was going to a lot of social events where the facilitators were recommending it to young adults like me, to solve their relationship problems. I read it thinking 'yep, I'm *definitely* not a woman'.
'Insulting to females' doesn't even start to describe John Gray...

A friend of mine pointed out that people who thought the book was great tended not to have long-term relationships, whereas most of us who threw it at the wall have been married for years.

Femidoms-as-condoms are even faster...

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Open packet, take out Femidom, take out inner ring (and throw it away or use as small cock ring depending on taste), put Femidom on penis rather than stuff inside vagina / anus, fuck.

In terms of speed, it's like putting on a hat, rather than putting on one leg of some tights. Plus you get the benefits of better heat transmission and being thinner than latex condoms. Plus2, the penis doesn't have to withdraw as soon as it's owner has come.

Once you've got the femidom in there, possibly. My own personal record for fitting a femidom is about a minute, and I've several times given up after about five minutes of attempting to squeeze the inner rubber ring just enough to inesrt it without too much discomfort on the part of my partner but not so much that it twists round in my fingers and springs to the wrong end of the femidom, and attempting to get the femidom to stick to the inside of the vagina more than it sticks to my fingers.

See reply to Anne.

If you want to use them more as advertised, taking out the inner ring is still a good idea, for the reasons you mention.

Not everyone's had as much practice as you.

(Miaow!)

Hey, you don't have to practice on lots of different people to get practice!

...though it's true I probably have more practice than many in putting on condoms in situations where my partner is, ah, indisposed to lend a hand...

Inventors create condom which can be fitted in three seconds

Either I need a better font or more sleep, because I read "fitted" as "filled".

Now I have this horrible image of a compressed-air driven ram type device that "fits" one in 100ms.

Some sort of swedish pump style thing maybe? Rolled condom sits on the end ready you put yoou penis near the thing, press a button and it instantly sucks it in and puts the condom on. And if it takes longer than 100ms and you lose ardour as the article suggests the swedish pump goes into hyper mode.....

a compressed-air driven ram

Baaaa!

I am having some very peculiar mental images of a condom applicator. Right now all I can see is some kind of super enlarged tampon applicator.

And I wouldn't have thought there is much that could be done which would be much simpler than 'remove from packet. Place over penis. Pull down while pinching on little teat on the top' short of providing a nubile young slave to place the condom on for you.

That last option works very well, but short of that, I think there is room for improvements. I want a dispenser that makes it easy to pull off a new condom, and a packet that's easier to tear open, for a start. I want to be able to tell which way up the condom goes without fumbling, in the dark.

What they need to make is a heat shrink condom. It should be loose enough to easily put on at 20-25 degrees and a snug fit at 36.6 degrees. In warm countries, or for added macho-ness, keep it in the fridge or run it under cold water (in the packet) before use.

:-)

Pavlos

Aha. Nitinol, or some other shape-memory alloy, threads embedded in the latex. Warm it up, and it contracts back into shape.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Inventors create condom which can be fitted in three seconds

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Hypothetical technical silliness

Re: Hypothetical technical silliness