Have made a couple of passes over this to try not to sound nasty; let me know how I'm doing..

You're doing just fine, don't worry.

I'm surprised to hear you describe your position as an "argument"; to be honest what I see is a search for a safe place to your beliefs right out of the reach of reason.

It's not an argument for the existence of God, but it's an argument for a belief in God's existence being one rational position amongst others. If I were just searching for a safe place, I think my religious history would have been rather different - it's not as if I haven't been willing to change my religious beliefs in the past, for instance, and I did identify as an atheist for a large chunk of my teenage years. I probably also wouldn't engage with atheists on the subject as much as I do. As far as I can tell, theism really just is the only way I can make satisfactory sense of the world as it appears to me. But inner motivations aren't really something one can demonstrate to third parties, so I think we'll probably just have to agree to differ on that.